What My Heart is Made Of...: T Minus One Day!

This is it! The days of being a family of four are quickly coming to a close, and a new chapter with the addition of a new family member will be here...TOMORROW!!
There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my head today that I can't even process them. I've been so excited lately to meet our little boy, but today I'm freaking out a little bit. Two two-year olds are a lot of work, but now I'm thinking they are a lot easier than two two-year olds AND a newborn. This is just hitting me today, I guess because it's really and truly becoming a reality. It's like 'cold feet' the day before, or the day of someone's wedding day. I know that it'll be perfect, yes busy and crazy, but perfect and that we will adapt just like we did going from the two us to two infants. But, at the same time I am calm in the fact of knowing that taking care of the needs of one infant HAS to be easier than taking care of the needs of two infants, so at least that will seem easier.
I'm so anxious and excited to meet this little boy, to see who he looks like, and to see the girls' reaction to meeting him for the first time. The girls seeing him for the first time is definitely what I'm most excited about! They love babies and it's going to be so much fun to have them interacting with him and knowing that he's ours. The girls look so different that I'm sure he's got to look like one of them. Which one will be the exciting surprise!
I'm also feeling some guilt about ignoring my body and what it can do. I felt this guilt last time when I ended up pushing for a c-section, because my body was doing everything it was supposed to, but I ignored it and had surgery anyway. But, in the end it all worked out, the girls were healthy and breastfeeding worked. This time, I haven't gone into labor yet, but my body is slowly getting ready for childbirth, but I'm going to ignore it again and have scheduled surgery tomorrow. I know it will be fine, and I don't want this baby to get any bigger, but I'm worried that my body won't get ready for breastfeeding like it did last time, if I don't go through the initial labor process. I know it should work fine at some point, because I'm too determined for breastfeeding not to work, but initially, I want to nurse only and not do bottles for a few weeks. If I'm not ready to provide that yet, I'm not sure what we'll end up having to do! I just have to not worry about it and see what happens, since that's the only thing you can do before he gets here! There's no way to know how it will turn out until the moment arrives!
I'm already anticipating the sadness I will feel after this pregnancy is over as well. Last time I was pregnant, I was sad for quite a while that my pregnancy was over, and I know I will feel this way again. Especially because I am still undecided at this point on whether or not we're going to go through this again. Due to that, I can't even think about the fact that I may never be pregnant again, because that's too much for me to process! Many of the day-to-day parts of pregnancy have been a pain, exhausting, and very frustrating, but overall, I still love the overall experience of pregnancy and hate when it's over. I love the novelty of pregnancy, the way that people treat a pregnant woman, the look of a baby bump, and the feel of the baby moving inside of you. It's that amazing experience that only the mother can have, and I really enjoy having that bond and experience all to myself! I'll also have to pay attention to getting my stomach back in somewhat shape and that's not anything I'm looking forward to either!
In regards to responsibilities, the house, and everything material being done, we are definitely ready!

So, in about 20 hours from the time I'm typing this blog, we will become a family of FIVE and meet our much anticipated Number 3, our Baby Boy!