Our First Couple of Days Home

It's official...we are officially parents!  And it feels fantastic!!  The girls got home on Friday, late morning.  Our first couple of days have been really great.  The girls only wake and cry when they're ready to eat, they get fed within 30 minutes and then they are back to sleep, whether its cuddling with us or back in their cradle.
The first night really was not as bad as I thought it would be.  They are on a 3 hour feeding schedule (thanks to the nurses at the hospital for setting that up!) so we stayed up for their 12:15 a.m. feeding and then got up at 3:30 and 7:30.  Scott and I do the feeding together and each feed one so it goes by pretty quickly.  Friday evening, Scott completely took over one of the feedings and I got to take at least a 2 hour nap.  That felt SO good, and actually kept me up to 1 am!
We have been feeding them solely breast milk and I feel SOOO fortunate that is going so well and I'm able to fully feed them on that.  I will nurse one or the other at some feedings, but we're using bottles for it also.  Being preemies, they get pretty cozy and lazy when nursing and don't eat enough so I'll give them a bottle afterward.
Last night (Saturday night) was not as great as Friday night.  I went to bed at 11:30 and Scott did the Midnight feeding.  He and the girls came up to bed around 1:15 and I was doing the middle of the night feeding and the early morning one.  Well, Taylor decided to wake up shortly after they came upstairs and from then until about 3:30 I had to sit and cuddle or nurse one or the either, with no rhyme or reason to the schedule.  Add pumping into that and it makes for a long and tiring night!
Emily and Taylor got their first bath today (pictures will be in a later post) and got all cleaned up.
That's really about the extent of our life right now!  It is definitely tiring, but with Scott being involved in almost all the work I am (everything but nursing and pumping) it has been so much easier and less exhausting than I would have anticipated!

Emily just after arriving home

Taylor just after arriving home

Taylor slept through the big ride home (of course)

Aunt Misty came to visit them on their first day home

Reece and Bennie really are not impressed by their new sisters

My new job!

Taylor

Emily

Aunt Misty and Uncle Bill with Emily

It's a twin thing...

Free pacifier

I LOVE this shot!

Taylor is already practicing her horseback riding skills!

Even Tony hung out with Emily!

Thoughts About Pregnancy:
I have to admit, I'm having a very difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer pregnant. Giving birth is a slightly bittersweet experience. From the very beginning of this journey, all I could think about was meeting my daughters. But, now that they're here, a part of me wants them back inside my womb! I wonder if part of this comes from the fact that the experience was cut short by a few weeks with them coming early. It definitely was not easy to give up pregnancy status! Every day, for the past 8 months, my life, body, and thoughts were about growing these two babies. From seeing them on the ultrasounds, to feeling them move around, to having such a contented feeling with being a mom-to-be, every single second was so amazing to me. Yes, there were some unpleasant side effects to being pregnant (acid reflux, sore back and feet, being uncomfortable in bed, being on bed rest), but even just the fact that I was pregnant was too amazing to me for those things to matter. I have never once wanted to complain about any part of my pregnancy since it was such a long and difficult road to get here. I have truly appreciated the whole thing. I wonder if another reason I'm struggling with not being pregnant anymore is that I don't feel my girls are protected safe and sound in my womb any longer. This really hit me when they were in the NICU. I did a DAMN good job growing these babies, taking care of them, nourishing them, putting their growth before any of my needs, and now that they're out in this cold, harsh world, I have so much less control over what happens to them. Another part of this is a very selfish reason! When they were inside of me, they were ALL mine! I was the only one feeding them, I was the only one experiencing their movement inside of me, it was all my experience. Now, everyone else gets to hold them, feed them, cuddle with them, and bond with them. I am instantly jealous of anyone who is holding or feeding them (minus their dad of course) and want to take them away and keep them all to myself!
This pregnancy was such a beautiful and unforgettable experience and one that went far too fast for me to handle. My emotions are riding so high on this realization that I will never be pregnant with these twins again and it truly breaks my heart. I know they will grow from these tiny little sweethearts entirely too fast and I will enjoy every single minute of having them in my life, but I will never, ever forget the beautiful experience I had with them while pregnant. Emily and Taylor, thank you for the best experiencinfo my entire life!

Mrs. J