Anyway, this FF is dedicated to "BK" {Before Kids}. When it was just me and my Love. We were so care free, so into going on vacations together, going out to dinner {A LOT}, hanging out together, building and planning a life together, and fulfilling our roles of Husband and Wife. I bring this up because I just today read an article that was a great reminder of something I need to focus on once again. It was called "To Wives: Before You Were Mommy". Here's an exerpt:
If only our {childbirth} instructor had sat us down and said, “Ladies, before you were Mommy, you were his. Men, before you were Daddy, you were hers. Remember this. Hold on to this. Keep these words precious to you.”
I wouldn’t have understood her. I might not have even understood her a few months later. But four years down the road, I would replay those words over and over in my heart, and I would know exactly what she had meant.
So if I could teach that class, if I could go back and instruct the bright faced greatly pregnant women and their overly eager husbands, I would say this,
Ladies, there will come a day when your husband walks in the door and you do not turn around. You will be preoccupied with filling up sippy cups and wiping booties. You will shout over the running bath water, “Hey! Glad you’re home.” But it won’t mean what it used to mean. It won’t be full of eager anticipation to spend time together. It will be full of expectations to aid in the demands of the family. “Glad you’re home,” will more properly translate, “Thank God for two extra hands to help me.” And “Praise the Lord I might get five minutes alone.”
Ladies, there will come a day when you spend every last ounce of yourselves on your children. The demands of life and the babies will come before any other priority. What little of yourself you have left at the end of the day will be used to crawl into bed before someone is awake to need you again. The thought of doing anything else after the children are asleep will sound impossible and your handsome husband’s happy smile had better mean he is willing to get up with the baby and nothing more.
The husband that once completed your heart will be just one more person who needs you. The charming things that you fell for will go unnoticed. The daily grind will become expected.
Men, there will come a time when that beautiful bride sitting next to you hasn’t showered in days. She will be at her wit’s end wearing other people’s food and poop on her clothing. She will need to hear that she is beautiful, but she won’t listen to you. She will need to know that she is still lovable, but she won’t want you near her. When you arrive home after meeting the demands of work, you will be expected to meet the demands of your family. Your wife will hear none of your exhaustion, and you will see none of hers.
But Ladies, when Mommy becomes your name, remember this man. Remember that you are his wife. Remember how much you love and appreciate him in this moment. Remember his dedication to your family. Remember his love and devotion to you. And then, when the days are long and you need a break, fall into his arms.
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Men, remember your bride. The care and love that she has given you will soon be spilled over to your children. Her love for you will not change. Give her the grace to be enough even when she doesn’t feel like it. Remember when your days are long, hers are too. Remember her. Fall in love with her again.
Remember each other. Remember the two that made the family. Hold tightly to one another. There is no greater adventure for you to experience and no greater gift than to walk through parenthood with your best friend. You are a team. Every single day.
When they had heard these words, perhaps then, I would offer a certificate. Something that they could hold in their hands to remember that they were prepared.
So, to my friends, a reminder. Something for you to hold onto. A cue to look into the aged eyes of the one you love and see the one for whom your heart fell. May our words be sweet. May our hearts be received. And may we remember the love of our youth.
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So, after that lengthy introduction, here's my Flashback Friday picture for this week!
Here's to being a better Wife again!
Mrs. J
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